Saving Private Leechball
by JockShipper
Summary: *WARNING: SPOILER FOR THOSE WHO LIVE IN CANADA* A re-do of the third episode of TDAS. Just what I wanted to happen when I saw the title of the episode a while back. I changed some of the plot to fit my Jock fantasies. C; Only in Jo's point of view


**If you happen to be one of those people that don't want to re-read dialogue or read Jo's thoughts, I made a starting point for you. Scroll down until you see a "*PLOT CHANGE*" in bold. This is where I change the plotline. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama or any of its characters.**

* * *

Jo's P.O.V

It was the night of Lightning's elimination. I was glad he was gone; he managed to do so much dumb shit in a challenge it's unbelievable. The only reason even I made an alliance with him was to gain his "trust" so he wouldn't be gunning for me. After what happened last season, I'm surprised he had said yes so easily!

Actually, no I'm not. He doesn't have a brain. Maybe a tiny one, one functioning properly enough for him to tell String-bean to backstab me last season, but that's pretty much it. Props to them for that, but a little respect doesn't stop me from getting my revenge. Me and String-bean are okay, I guess, and it _was_ pretty nice of him to share his prize money with everybody, _even me. _But that doesn't stop me from settling the score, so, _no hard feelings, Cameron._

There was loud banging and shouting coming from the guys' side of the cabin. I couldn't hear what they were saying though, the sound being muffled by the wood walls. They weren't fighting at all today, so that must mean they're "getting to know each other" over there. Gross. If they could keep the noise level of their love affairs to a minimum, that would be great.

Before I could tune them out and go to sleep, Heather started nagging. _Again._ "Thanks again for blowing the challenge, Jo!" Hold on a minute! I was the most productive on the team! What is she talking about?!

"_Me!?_ YOU'RE the one who wasted time _arguing_ instead of _digging!_" It was true! If she would've listened to someone for once in her life, we would've won!

"I wouldn't have _needed_ to argue if everyone just did what I told them to do! I'm the one with the most experience on this team!-"

Gwen then sat up and got into the argument, glaring at us. I thought she was asleep? Couldn't blame her though, the guys were being _way_ too loud. "It's _everyone's_ fault for not working together as a team! Now cram it! I am _trying_ to _sleep!_" She put her pillow over her head, assuming we wouldn't listen to her. We did though, and Heather got into her bed and finally shut up. I know what she's trying to do; she's trying to get Gwen on her side, to form an alliance! If that wasn't the case, she wouldn't have been so willing to follow orders. _As if!_ Nobody should trust her, after being on three seasons with her! But sure, she can _try_. I'll just beat her to it. I turned over and smiled, _I'll talk to you tomorrow, Gwen._

* * *

"ATTENTION CAMPERS! FORCED RECON IN FIVE! OVER!" Good god, nobody can even guess how much I despise that damn annoying intercom. We were all walking to where our challenge was supposed to be when Heather stopped Gwen at the back of the group. I chuckled to myself; did she seriously think nobody was going to notice? She was _almost_ right. Nobody did notice, _except for me._ Now I finally understand how the bitch queen gets so far in every season: only a few people think strategically around here! I'm surrounded by idiots! As soon as Queenie kept walking, I took it as _my _turn to talk to Gwen.

"Okay, you were right; teamwork is the way. Truce?" I smiled as I held my fist up.

"Uh, sure." She replied as she gave me a fist-bump. _Perfect._ After that she just went off with Duncan to complain about Courtney. I kept walking with a proud smirk on my face.

"Damn!" I sighed once I was in the confessional, "That was the softest my voice has ever been! But whatever, it's a small price to pay to take control of this team; because getting Gwen on my side is the best way to do it." I brought my fist down into my hand, "Besides, where Gwen goes, Duncan follows."

* * *

We stopped when we saw Chris in a solid army-green military combat helmet and sunglasses. What's with the get-up? Dork.

"At ease, soldiers!" he began as he saluted, "Let's all welcome back… exiled Hamster, Sam!" Whoa, if I said that Sam looked bad, I'd be lying. Sam looked horrible. I'm not too keen on this exile stuff, but I guess I'm gonna have to go sooner or later to find that invincibility statue.

"Hey Sam," Zoey spoke up, "how was exile?" I rolled my eyes. Yeah, it went great, Red. He just got done playing twister with a bunch of wild bears, so that would make up for him having half a shirt. And he must've just said something to hurt their feelings, cause he's pretty beat up. But of course they made up and they're best friends now.

Seriously? What kind of question was that?

"Aside from the blinding hunger and bear attacks, pretty good actually!" he stated weakly before he face-planted in the ground. All the hamsters then ran to him and gave him breakfast and stuff. All accept Courtney. Well she must feel bad. He then mumbled something, probably in appreciation before stuffing bacon in his mouth.

When Sam _wasn't_ the center of attention, Chris started to explain the challenge. "Welcome to today's experiment with your pain thresholds." He paused, to laugh at our somewhat scared expressions, and also to wait for an intern to pull a monitor in front of us. "Get ready for an ingenious twist on the war movie challenge, from season two."

The monitor showed the island and two boxes: a small one and a larger one. "There are two weapon caches in the heart of this forest. _The big one_ is filled with state-of-the-art paintball weaponry. I also left you a little surprise, that I'm sure will be a _big help_ with the challenge. And the little one has a bunch of cruddy old paintball slingshots." Paintball weaponry? I smiled deviously; I'm gonna like this challenge! "Whoever gets there first gets their pick. And, _then you've gotta pick off the competition."_

Seems that revenge I wanted on Cameron is coming a lot earlier than I thought. Courtney turned and snarled at Gwen, "Looking forward to it." I watched World Tour, and I guess she's still upset over the _boyfriend-stealing thing. _This just proves the point that I've been having for years: Don't let a guy get in the way of what's important! And that's winning! Courtney was seriously off her game after that and then let herself be fooled by Ale-man-whore over here. It was hard to watch.

Chris continued, "You get one point for each opponent you splatter. First team to six points wins. And one of the losers will get a dishonorable discharge, tonight: Flush-o-shame style."

Duncan waved his hands in mock-astonishment and said sarcastically, "Paintball again? Oooh, original. What a twist." I don't see why he's complaining; at least we don't have to wear deer antlers, noses, and tails. Well, _they_ had to.

Chris's expression changed. "Oh yeah, _that. _One of the conditions of my parole is that I can't use or be around hard projectiles, like paintballs, so, instead, you'll be using… Leeches!" _Way to go, Duncan._ I cringed while everyone made sounds and comments of disgust. That is _beyond_ gross! Hopefully I'll still have some blood left after _this_ challenge.

"As winners of yesterday's challenge, the heroes get a full one-minute head-start." The heroes celebrated, those lucky bastards… while we, all the villains, awwed in disappointment. There goes those paintball guns.

"Ready… Set …" Chef then fired a leech in the air, which hit Scott in the face, as the heroes started running away, cheering. Heather walked up to me and I gave her a sideways glare.

"Know who could outrace the Hamsters even with a head-start?" She asked rhetorically as she pointed a supposed _"threatening"_ finger at me. "Lightning! Way to ruin everything, Jo!" What is wrong with her?

I turned to her before yelling, raising my arms in emphasis, "We _ALL_ voted him off, remember?" Sheesh, the way she's been bitching about Helmet-head being gone, I'd think she _liked_ him or something!

After a few more moments of fiercely glaring at each other, Alejandro, way down there, spoke up, "We may not need to worry." He said smugly as he pointed at Sam, who wasn't running very fast, due to his recent exile ass-kicking. Mike and Sierra came back for him and helped him stay upright. Gwen openly swooned at this.

"Ahhh, now _that's_ teamwork!" Heather then walked up to her, agreeing.

"Yeah. Work with each other now, crush each other later." Her and Gwen started to engage in conversation as I was still too busy fuming to care. How the hell is all of this my fault? I need to get her eliminated before she even gets a chance to _think_ about how to get rid of me.

"Villains," Chris started, "You're up in 3…2…" Chef fired another leech, hitting Scott again.

"Hey!" he cried indignantly. They chuckled at his misfortune and high-fived whilst I mumbled to myself, "Demon hosts..."

We started running, in high hopes of getting the big box of weapons before the heroes.

* * *

We all came to a stop as Gwen started talking, "Okay, they're heading left. If we take another path, maybe we can cut them off."

"Great idea!" Heather praised as she gave Gwen a thumbs up. I just looked at her. Unbelievable…  
We started running again as Duncan cheered, "GO VULTURES!"  
I decided to join him. Eh, why not? "YES WE CAN!" I chucked.

***PLOT CHANGE* *PLOT CHANGE* *PLOT CHANGE* PLOT CHANGE***

"THE BIG ONE! GO FOR THE BIG ONE!" We heard Courtney shout in the distance. Crap! We're too late! They cheered in front of the large box as we stood in front of the small one and groaned. _And that's the story of how the Heroes got another advantage._ Man, we're toast. Heather opened our box and pulled out a bucket of leeches as she cried in disgust. "Gross!"

"Guess this is the low-tech crate alright." Gwen awkwardly started as we all grabbed a slingshot.

Ways away, the heroes cheered before Courtney opened the crate. A chorus of gasps could be heard. What? What's happening? All the villains looked over. We saw leech guns, a leech cannon, and standing next to it all? My gasp was the loudest of the Villains' team.

Standing next to all the weaponry was Brick McArthur.

Damn.

Chris and Chef drove up to us in a sandy-colored Jeep. "Yep, that's right! Meet today's cameo contestant, Brick! Here to help the _heroes _with today's challenge!" Whoa, another player? Totally unfair! _Did I mention that we're toast?_

"Private Brick McArthur reporting for duty!" Brick shouted at nobody in particular as he saluted. Mike, Cameron and Sam all shook his hand, exchanging greetings. I'm guessing Red wasn't having any of that, as she ran up and hugged him.

"Brick! It's so good to see you!"

"Same to you, ma'am." He responded to her as the hug ended.

Alejandro snapped us out of our -well, mostly my- shock as he said "I think we should start running now."

"Correct, Al," Chris agreed with him as he cringed, "Challenge starts now! Heroes, Villains, get to the blood loss!" And we didn't waste any time running away. The heroes didn't grab their weapons yet so that gave us a little time.

* * *

While the rest of the Villains' team paired up, I went to go look for heroes alone. I don't want anyone with me for two reasons. One: we're easier to hit while we're together, and two: because everyone else is useless. Before I left, Alejandro was following Heather, and Scott tagged along with Duncan and Gwen.

I couldn't really find anyone after a few minutes, so right now I'm immensely frustrated. I heard a scream then some shouting before Chris's intercom turned on and he laughed. "That's a point for the Heroes!" I groaned; I bet that was Al. He's totally useless because he can't use his legs! How is he supposed to hold the freaking slingshot?

Later there was a cannon fire, and Scott screamed in the distance, "OH COME ON!" I cringed where I was. There's no telling how much that's gotta hurt! Covered from head to toe in blood-sucking little creatures. Chris said in the intercom "haha, that's two points for the Heroes and _zilch_ for the Villains!" Two players out of the game and we just started! I think we'll be able to make a comeback though. I kept walking to god-knows-where until I heard a voice.

"Nice shot Zoey."

"Thanks."

I aimed my slingshot and opened fire in the direction of the voice, in high hopes of hitting someone. When I heard a yelp, from whom I think was Mike, I started running in the opposite direction, turning at a few trees so they wouldn't know where I went. Chris's voice could be heard again. "And it's 2-1 heroes!" The Villains better hurry and even the score before the Heroes get a huge lead!

* * *

In about 5 minutes, I had almost gotten hit twice. Too bad for whomever that was that I'm fast on my feet. I grinned; I can already taste victory! We were still losing though, but that's obviously subject to change. I honestly don't know what I was so worried about before! Chris intercom could be heard again, to confirm my thoughts. Though it wasn't the comment I expected, "Now it's 4-all!"

While I was happy that we got 3 points just now, I was also a bit agitated because two of us just got out at the same time. The _exact_ reason I said not to travel in groups! No one really listens to me here, and it makes me wish I had that same power over everybody that I had last season. I led us to victory in most of those death challenges anyway. I stopped by the confessional, being sure to keep my voice down if anyone were to come near it.

"Some team," I scowled once after I sat down. I began to count off the other Villains on my fingers. "I'm stronger than _Old_ Heather, Ale-_Hand-Walker_, Count _Gwenula_, _Stuncan_, and _Shark-Bait_ combined!"

I thought for a moment before I continued, "Hm. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to dumb Lightning so fast."

I heard a noise close to my head and turned to see a tablet with Lightning's face on it, making me glare at the sight. "I _told_ you you'd regret it!" I clenched my fists, as my anger was flaring up with each passing second. "Sha-woo!"

I grabbed the tablet and sputtered in mixed emotions, "What the-" before Chris's voice echoed through the confessional, coming from not anywhere I could see. I looked up, trying to find the source of his annoying voice, but to no avail.

He laughed, "He left a pre-recorded message, _just in case!_" Okay, I've had enough. With one last glare at Lightning's smug expression on the screen, I groaned while snapping the device off the wire which it was hanging and threw it to the ground. As it split in half, I put my hands on my hips and looked in the other direction, fuming. _Screw him,_ I thought as I stomped out of the confessional with my slingshot and leeches.

* * *

Through a small wall of bushes I saw Brick and Red walking.

"I learned how to properly use guns like these back in Cadets! I think that's why Chris chose me to help with the challenge today."

"That's really cool! I'm glad he did, anyway."

I silently grabbed a leech and aimed for the back of Zoey's head. Before I could fire it, though, I saw Heather hiding behind a bush a couple of feet away. She was doing the same thing I was, but if I'm correct, she was aiming for Brick.

As she fired, without thinking, I screamed "Look out!" as I jumped in front of him. He and Zoey gasped, as I fell on my elbows and knees with a leech stuck to my ass. I groaned in pain. God, this _does_ hurt!

"Jo?" Brick and Zoey questioned simultaneously as I tried prying the leech off my butt. Heather emerged from the bushes, and with Duncan and Gwen behind her, she stomped over to my fallen figure on the ground. I looked up to see that Gwen had a blood-filled leech on her head and Duncan had one in the same place as I did. _Oh, the irony._

"JO! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING!?" Heather, along with Duncan and Gwen, were glaring murderously at me. I glared back at them. Sure, I messed up, but they're screwing up our chances right now! There's two Heroes, both sure to snap out of their shock momentarily, and the only Villain left in the challenge is just standing there, waiting to be hit. Run away! Before I get sent home!

"Doesn't matter! Heather, r-" I couldn't finish my warning as Brick aimed his gun at Heather's head.

"Sorry Private Heather." He said before he shot her. Zoey gave him a high-five, both grinning proudly.

"Ugh! _My hair!_ What is _wrong_ with you!?" And now we we're both trying to pry leeches off ourselves, and both failing miserably.

Chris's voice could be heard over the intercom for the last time. "This just in, with a final score of 6 points to 4, the heroes win!" The Heroes, scattered across the island, cheered as Chris sneered, "Although some of them didn't behave all that heroic-ly, _**COURTNEY!" **_I didn't even wonder what she did because my mind was on another subject.

_**Why?!**_

Why did I do that?! I am so going home tonight! I sighed and walked away, the leech still on my butt, and the glares of the three Villains still on me.

* * *

The heroes were sitting in the bleachers nearby, Brick was standing next to Chris, and the only one's sitting on the logs without a marshmallow were Heather and I.

"Heather and Jo, you're on the edge. _Heather_, for being a pain in the keister, and _Jo_, for being a pain in the keister, who _also_ took a leech for a Hero, costing the Villains the challenge."

I motioned to Heather before retorting, "_Actually_, its _Queenie's fault_ for forgetting the challenge, and standing in front of two heroes with leech-weapons!"

Heather scoffed and glared at me whilst Chris laughed, "Well, let's see what your team thinks! Tonight's flush-ie is…. JO!" He tossed Heather the final marshmallow of the night.

Heather turned to me and smiled coyly as she waved, "We don't need any traitors- _or Heroes_- on this team. Bye Jo!"

"What?! Are you all nuts!?" I stood next to Brick as Chris switched Courtney and Duncan. Courtney's now a Villain, and Duncan's a hero. Brick turned to me.

"Um, thanks. For taking a leech for me, ma'am."

It took a while for my cold demeanor to recede, but it did. _A little._ "No problem, Private Leechball."

* * *

Brick had to go back to Playa-De-Losers since the challenge was over, so we were both floating in the flush of shame. Chris asked me if I had any final words, only to get a middle finger back in response. The Heroes were standing on the dock as well as the Villains, saying goodbye to Brick from a distance. Sierra was chocking Cameron in her hug and mike waved. The rest of the heroes, save for Duncan, gave verbal farewells.

"See you soon Brick! It was nice seeing you again!"

"See you later man!"

"Thanks for helping with the challenge today, Brick! I'll be sure to put this on my blog!"

"It was a pleasure serving you, Heroes!" He cheerily replied back to them. I growled and glared at everybody. He didn't look at me as his left hand, below the water, moved and grabbed mine.

Now who gave him permission to do that?

I looked at him and he smiled at me, before turning his attention to Chris, who said goodbye also.

"Corporal Brick-house, thanks for helping out with the challenge." Chris told him as he saluted.

"It was an honor, sir!" He saluted back with his right hand, still holding mine with his left.

_Meh. I'll kick his ass for this later, _I thought as Chris pressed a red button, sending us to the Playa.

.

.

.

* * *

**How was it? Not much Jock but whatever. **

**And I already got my next story in mind! It's just going to take a little longer, because it's going to be 3 different stories, just uploaded at the same time. See you next time! :)**

**~JockShipper~**


End file.
